Life is getting a lot better these days. I’m allowed to use just one crutch around the house, which means I can actually help a little bit. The pain has gone down considerably. I still get some aching and some nerve pain, but it’s much less than it was. Sleeping is still not great because it isn’t comfortable to be on my back all night but any other position makes my hip ache. I haven’t taken anything for the pain in days, not even ibuprofen.
Physical therapy is hard and getting harder as they add more weight for leg lifts. It’s okay, though, because I know I’m getting better. It ends up aching by the end of it, but the ice helps and it isn’t hurting by later in the day, so I think it gets classified as a good pain.
My incisions still haven’t healed up. One is completely healed, one has only a little bit of a scab, but one of the scabs is still not healed. I really want to go swim again, so that’s been quite frustrating, but I’ll get there eventually. I miss my endorphins. Showering has gotten much easier, though.
I am feeling somewhat less depressed now, but there are still times that this is incredibly difficult. I don’t like being helpless, useless, and slow. My brain is still not working quite as well as I would expect. I can’t keep up. I can’t do grocery shopping on my own if it includes things like milk because I can’t push a cart. A friend has to water my plant at work. There are so many things that I want to be able to do and can’t that some days it feels like a mountain of everything I can’t do.
It’s better. It’s getting better. It’s slow, but that’s okay in the long run.