Today was my first day of physical therapy.
I’m in rather more pain than I was yesterday. Big surprise. Physical therapy isn’t easy and it is painful. I have a long list of exercises to do twice a day. I think I’m going to refer to it as the List de Sade.
I didn’t think my hip was awful. I mean, yes, it hurts all the time (which should have been a clue) and I’m down to about 90 degrees of range of motion. Outside of that range it hurts a lot more. Adding in physical therapy, though, is a whole new level. Generally I try to avoid pain. That’s why I’m wandering around on one crutch and not trying to run. Now I’m supposed to push it, see how far I can go. Well, except that I’m not supposed to push it too hard, but I don’t have much of a read on how much is too much, so I just do my exercises and deal with the fact that it hurts and it’s going to keep hurting for a while.
Constant pain is exhausting. I want this to be over. I want it to get better. I want someone to fix it. That just isn’t going to happen. Even if I end up getting surgery, the rehab is going to be worse than the physical therapy. I know that and it does not make me happy. On the other hand, at least there would be an end. I don’t know if this month of physical therapy is going to fix anything, make anything better, or just result in more people asking me to push to the point of pain and a little bit past it to see how far I can go and if it’s getting any better.
I’ll be good and do my exercises twice a day. My next appointment isn’t until next week, so at least no one else will be causing me pain for a little while. That’s all on me.