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A cold in winter

I’ve been sick for over a week now, and I’m ready to be done. Cough and cold, nothing major, but it’s not going away, which is starting to irritate me.

Part of the problem, I’m sure, is that when I take medicine which limits the effects of the cough/cold, I feel like I have energy and can do things again. Go for a walk, go shopping, shovel snow, go to a party, and four hours later when the meds wear off I’m exhausted and trying to cough up a lung or two. Not my smartest approach to getting better.

Today and tomorrow I’m not doing much. I’m drinking broth (my husband makes excellent stock, and I may drink a lot of it) and sitting still, reading, puttering around on the computer, and not taking anything to make me feel better. I took a long, very hot bath, which helped. It’s impressive how little I want to do when I haven’t drugged the sickness into submission.

I started thinking about the person who gave me this particular bug. He shares an office with me a few days a week, and he was sick for three weeks before I managed to catch it. He wasn’t taking much to limit the symptoms, or if he was it had worn off by the time he was in the office. He knew he was sick, but, like most of us, he came in anyway because that’s just what you do. I am pretty sure I’ll be done with this bug soon if I can convince myself to stay low-energy for a few more days. It’s hard to do, though. We live in a society which is always busy, always pushing. I feel bad when I take time off from work, even though I have sick time to cover it and even though I’m sure my co-workers would prefer that I not share my germs. There is always work to do, though, and it’s hard to let myself be sick and accept it.

I don’t blame the person I caught this from. He needed to be at work for his own reasons, and considering how many times I have dragged myself in feeling awful I have no room to object. It did remind me, though, to try to be a little more careful of myself, to try to not push so hard. I’m a little bit of a workaholic and I enjoy the work I’m doing, so it is doubly hard to stay home, sit still, and drink hot tea or broth or whatever calms my throat best.

It’s okay to be sick, to take down time. It’s life. Tomorrow I’m not going anywhere, and I’ll will try to remember to take it easy until I can get through a day without coughing.

A rambling we will go

I’ve tried to write for several days and I just can’t come up with anything specific to write about. There are a lot of little things, but nothing that I can really craft a reasonable post out of, so I’m just going to ramble for a bit.

We got to spend an hour or so with a very tiny baby, less than a week old. I like babies. They can be loud and exhausting and all of that, but I love the feeling of that weight settled in my arms, watching those eyes that are just learning to focus following my face. I like little kids, too, and school age kids. Once you get to the teenage years, I’m not quite as fond of them as a group. Part of that may be that most of them are taller than I am and generally somewhat obnoxious. It’s good that Xander actually likes that age.

I miss Daniel. I know I always will, but sometimes it’s harder than others. I still love him fiercely, but there isn’t anywhere for that feeling to go. I am learning to let myself be sad and miss him, let it wash over me, and then keep on with the rest of life. I have his picture on my computer screen at work. I write a lot of postcards to various people, and I used to write postcards to him every week. I still find myself composing postcards for him in my head before catching myself and remembering that there’s nowhere to send them. There is an undercurrent of sadness in my life now, even when everything is going well. It isn’t changing my life in a bad way, just reminding me that there is no guarantee that I’ll be here tomorrow. I’m trying to live better in small ways because of it.

On a completely different note, Disney has put out a fishing pole with princesses on it. The first glance I got of it, I thought Ariel was one of the princesses featured. That would have made me laugh much too hard. A mermaid whose best friend is a fish on a fishing pole. Apparently, though, it was Belle, Snow White, and Sleeping Beauty. I suppose that’s at least more politically correct. Not nearly as funny, unfortunately.

The puppy will be visiting again later this month, so I should have more amusing training stories.

We’ve decided to have a traditional Jewish Christmas dinner, so we’re going to go out for Chinese food. My favorite Chinese restaurant will be open, too, so that’s a bonus.

Overheard in a hardware store last week:
Female employee: “I have it, sir, it’s fine. I can handle it.”
Male customer: “But it’s so long!”
I couldn’t help snickering.

I’m kind of coasting right now. There are several things on the horizon that could have huge effects on our life, but nothing is happening right now. I’m getting up early and exercising, being careful of what I eat despite a lot of temptation at work, trying to remember to write now and then, and trying to learn a few pieces of music for a present I’m making for some kids I know. I’m trying not to spend much money. Life is pretty good right now overall. I spent some time last weekend making pumpkin soup and it came out very well, which is perfect since soup is pretty much my favorite food in winter. There’s nothing quite like tucking in with a hot bowl of soup when the weather is below freezing. I am reminded of a children’s book – “In January it’s so nice while slipping on the sliding ice to sip hot chicken soup with rice.” That’s from a Maurice Sendak book, “Chicken Soup with Rice”, which I remember reading when I was little and got a copy of (along with its companion books) a year or so ago. It still makes me smile.

I think this is enough of a ramble for the day. I hope you find something to smile about, something silly, something that brings that spark of joy, and that you stop for just a moment to savor it.